Lead me. everybody is looking at me. asking what i'm up to. checking on me. probing my process for keys to their process. tryna exploit my acute lack of virtues as a total weakness. My personal strengths are put on the auction and chopping block for the amusement of the public. it feels like people expect all these things from me (save my self, save the world, save black people, save a sista's heart save my self for marriage, save my lungs, save money, save time, save my family, and save my anger...)and I'm already indebted to them... as a steward of humanity. I have a heart to help, but sometimes it feels like people are terribly demanding of my energy. Its a side effect of seeking knowledge... folks expect you to have something for them. Some sort of short cut or mantra they can follow. We become local leaders of the new school and free world. I'm blogging out loud, pardon the interruption. This is me off the cuff and on the record. Write this down in pencil: "If I help somebody, maybe there's mercy for me."_Gnarls Barkley.

Charity.

If I may do, be it good things that help others. The trials of a servant. I think I should talk to Jesus about that. This is getting tricky. I mean, self-preservation in the midst of service is becoming difficult. My joy comes in knowing that my cause is heard by a contemporary... My joy comes in better understanding my process and hopefully helping others to navigate... but simultaneously?! I'm feeling like being overwhelmed isn't an option. I'm told that this is grinding. I'm told that men should remain calm. I'm told not to complain about damn near anything but gas prices.

Delano is better than this blog or my desires... Delano is kinda impressed with the ending of Fahrenheit 451 "We burn the books, and keep them up here..."

I do not fear death, but the results of inaction. And in the process I fear I'm not being productive enough. The information age makes us all accountable for being better planners... the truth is out there in X files, pdf's and in online applications... May the Force Be With You.

As you grind, as you strive to be the living light, as you rock the house. Save Self. and the life you save may result in atonement.

-delano