amazing? !

I never cease to be amazed by all of this. as i inhale, all the grit, smog, and exhaust, life seems to be just toxic enough to remind me that I'm alive. you know, pain is an indicator of a functioning nervous system. its there to teach you not to touch the hot stove again... it works kinda like fear and the fight or flight nature of the human animal. when i wait to exhale I get this weird head rush like i have a choice as to what happens next. naturally, i'd like to digest some clean oxygen but, it's getting too late for that. at least in the city. I was in south dakota once, presenting at black hills state university... and man, what a revelation! the united states is a vast mutha! and the crystal evening made my chest tingle from its simple purity. i was amazed to still be in america. a little (or a lot) of nitrogen is a good thing.

nowadayz, i get the feeling that my thoughts are connected to a loud speaker and those who choose to listen are hearing me. i guess my ego has to show up sometime... maybe it's not "just me..." but forreal, tonight i had a troubling sensation while at work. the thought which lasted for about 30 minutes was that i might not get to express all i want to before i die. or before you die. it saddened me. as an artist, a creative entity, a communicator - expression is as reflexive and vital as breathing. this in why i keep a blog. in case my flesh returns to dust, i feel like i've at least left some bread crumbs as to what i believe, what i feel, and what i dream about and live. this is my lil joust with writing an autobiography. the humble parts of me keep me patient to achieve more before i commit to telling all of my story. but, the feeling part of me just can't be silent until it all catches up with the book. so, as notes to myself... the atlanta renaissance is my own eclectic representation of my most turbulent twenties.... from about 25 on out. this is nothing new. i started keeping a journal in high school and my first one went with me on my first mission trip to jamaica, the isle of my father's birth.

today, i use it as practice to you know, "see if i still got it..." 3stax said something like that on "the art of storytellin pt. 4" i feel where he's coming from. you gotta have scruples about this life you're living because people are watching. children seem to find a way to get into- literally- what they see you doing, so i gotta do my part. i'm hardly a self-serving body, despite my aspirations to do great things personally. to give props where they are due I just finished reading a fantastic interview with one of my favorite musical artists Cee-Lo. http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/features/id.1124/title.cee-lo-green-what-a-long-strange-trip-its-been
I don't know how long the link will last, but for the time being it exists and it was a moving look into the state of mind of one of our Nation's greatest creative souls. forgive me if it rings bells, but like i said it's like my mind is on blast and i can't stop eating TNT. so, there you have it in a shell, the good stuff... me as i am! i'm proud of how this one feels, its flowing like a freestyle.

before i retire for the evening... thanks to all my folks for checking in with me... your thoughts are received too. amazing stuff, this life. the law of attraction is just the tip of the planet. continue to focus your thoughts on what is right, true, and pleasing to the Creator. "i could go on and on and on, but who cares?"





-delano