Young Fly the Future

When I started this blog, my heart was heavy to express. There was a story inside of me I felt the need to archive. Because of the nature of this story, its vast significance, the depth my own feelings, and the sweeping changes occurring rapidly in my life I had to let out at least a little of what was inside of me.

GNM- once described it as a "male pregnancy," an inner child gestating... this allusion is close to describing what happens when I fall in love. I feel an overwhelming desire to protect the infantile feelings living, even breathing inside of me. At all costs, I seek affirmation about my feelings - and worlds respond. Music is its main vehicle. I admit to being led by an unseen force. Saying to myself, "You are just hoping," is the ledge of my emotions... I have no idea and no solid evidence that I am not chasing a dream. Yet, the point of my entire blog is to expose some of the promise living inside of me-of her.

Women in my present don't really hear about you...I don't even mention your name that often. For some reason I think you hear when your name is mentioned... its a risk my pride won't let me take - you knowing how much I care by speaking your name... it does seem a little silly at this point to still feel the need to protect - but I do.

Tea- Lotus Blossom, a present vision of mine, says she read this blog in its entirety... I wonder if she understands that I started this blog to protect my inner child, to archive my first cosmic journey, my innervisions of love...

-oddly enuff she demands a commitment from me; something I can't give for at least three reasons. 1. I'm going to PT School and I can't take her demanding nature to such a personal investment stage of my life. 2. I'm still protecting my inner child, and 3. The Future is still before me.

Love is about the future. The now is so fleeting, that physical contact may even be more of an illusion than the vaporous feelings...


To Dr.Hopkins, I salute you! You have me thinking I can live again and maybe one day be ready for another child, my first inner child. Even you compete with my past as an example of Divine Focus in the Black Female... and I love that! I do not know what your role will be in my life...and I smile at the prospects of a better tomorrow.

For now, I hope this explains my current situation more clearly. There is tremendous sacrifice attached. Believe it or not it keeps me out the streets, chasing random women, and constantly looking inside and outside for any signal confirming my place on the path towards...

young fly the future
*YFF also references an ATLANTA rapper ... good kid, lots of talent...needs diverse forms of guidance.