brown baggin it

can i tell you of my joys and not my sorrow?

here it is. I was given an opportunity unlike many in the world. a safe ascension into adulthood. true many of my choices kept me aligned with my Divine purpose, but I cannot explain being born of my parents. they sacrificed all, so that I might have a chance out here to make it. to make something of myself. and look at me. here living with them still. though I will apply to a doctoral program very soon, I cannot help but feel it is too little to late. as i typed those words, they sounded a lil silly, given this is the rest of my life I'm speaking of... but for now. at 26, I have far to go - "miles to go before I sleep." Something natural is forcing me out of this situation but at the same time keeping me here until further notice. It will be an interesting ride these next few months. Quickly they approach...the days of winter when wonderland was delivered wrapped in pretty brown paper.


I feel stupid for not having enough Faith growing up. I feel slighted for not having enough guidance, and I feel fortunate for becoming so cautious. I actually do like myself; is that enough? No. I'm not satisfied. I could go for the gusto and rent just to get out... or I can chill and get a house when the time is right... When I was younger I thought about "you." I wondered what you would would be like... And things really got interesting when I actually met you. Like nine years hitting me all at once. In the flesh. I couldn't have been happier. Just as I imagined. More like me than I could fathom...and from around the way. I Am not just liking some random chick. I hope to not be to late to fulfil my duties to you. That is how I feel too... "dutied" to you. Like, I know it in my bones... and my choices either bring me closer or further the gap. (I have no doubt that you are progressing as you always do... may I not be a burden upon your back, nor an irksome trouble in your mind, nor a worry upon your spirit)

I simply miss you and there is no chemical that can replace you and no other who can captivate me like you. I have much to live for and part of that motivation prepares me for a second encounter... well, time is telling.

you already know - so smart - so forward thinking... they amaze me, your speeds. fast as lightning slow as a snail... --you're making me giggle--

WE ARE
the I AM
the HERE and NOW
ALWAYS & FOREVER
LIVING ASCENSION

May the Grace of the Lord be with us all, Amen.