lockets of ink

I was reminded today of why I keep people close. Nothing in particular sparked my reminisce, but with time things change and the recollection of how things were never seems to go away. In my recent days I've been wanting to speak with aunt mildred, but couldn't... I know when I think of her she hears, but it's not the same as going to visit her, help her around her apartment, taking her shopping, cleaning for her, or even visiting her in the hospital... What is done is done. I am very glad to have been an adopted nephew to her and to help her when her blood family was unable or didn't care.

I digress... I love you because your existence is like God smiling on me. You are sunshine in my life like 5:45pm springtime...a reminder of noon, welcoming evening.
I am sure there are others out there who would make me happy. You however, are something different. I love you when I shouldn't. When things go well and when times are hard. Your strength radiates from that month like lasting chastisement. Your tenderness is an abode of mine. I will see and have seen many things. They pale in comparison to Black Woman Rising. I am very much changed by you, by God, by my decisions. I've never been... You are my first and I see why it is hard for some to openly accept emotions. It is not easy, nor is it what I expected. However, I love you and there is nothing that will change that. I am beyond wanting you. You're simply a part of me now, and with that... I keep you in my locket.

I'm not one for necklaces anymore, so think of it as a locket of ink, under my skin, a badge of honor I parade for the people.

And I think some ladies are perceptive enough to notice my art in this city of ink. they look at me like none have ever before. I'm not really prepared for all this attention. Coming out of left field, they say, "Delano for President..." Part of it is that there are few who can claim to have "had" me...for this there are no rumors good or bad floating out there about me. There were times I would have liked to answer a few of their questions, but I'm comfortable with my position. Life seems so short...this is why I blog these things. I deeply hope to share this with you if you haven't found it already... alas, reality. I do not know. And because I don't know I will err on the side of optimism. Be there a day that I see you again, like they were but better. Be there a day I can do simple things with you and complex things too. Be there a day when you tell me the quiet offerings of your heart. I fantasize about life...not smutty orgies and Sodom. I have this tattoo... an emotional scar I allowed to scab over. I applied ointment of cloves and drinks, poor advise, and pain... But all I seem to see is art. You move like a ballerina with the voice of reason and determination. Your style is impecible. Your face is soft. Your smile is as freely given as it is to be earned. You are a challenge in my life, that I might succeed. I will continue... I hope to show you my tattoo.