I am anxious. I am on the launch pad for my career in physical therapy and I'm starting to itch. With all this wonderful motivation, all I am to do is complete the process and contribute to the health and well-being of humanity.

In preparation for applying, I am volunteering at Grady Memorial Hospital and with BenchMark PT at Crawford Long Medical Center. Also, I will be observing at The Shepherd Center, a leading facility in the nation for brain and spinal cord injury treatment. I am excited about working in a top hospital and with the individuals who shape the lives of needy patients daily. I ache to be one of these people.

I have one chance at life and quite frankly being so close to being complete is awe-inspiring! I've already made some health choices to cut out clove and bland n mild smoking... Also, I try to do some push-ups daily and dance at least 4 times a week at home for about 30 mins.

I have so much to look forward to! I've been prepared for so much. I am glad I know where I want to be and am working towards my goals...but because this won't happen over night, I am anxious.

I want to be the man I am to be. For my self, for my family, for my Creator, for my community.
On a side note, I've also put in some work on my non-profit and am developing the logo! The First drafts are looking good, when I figure out how to upload it here, I will!

You all take care and remember I love you just because! Please continue to pray for me as this life is not a crystal stair and success can be measured by many pieces of tape.

tha Deal or No Deal

I've got this friend from The Wire. One of Baltimore's most fortunate to make it out. His story is incredible... he was actually banned from college b/c of an "intent to distribute," charge. In an attempt to leave this life behind he actually snuck back on campus in order to complete his transfer process to Atlanta's Morehouse College.

He is now a math major, minoring in chemistry... his record may taint his ability to practice chemistry professionally, but he's giving it all he's got. I'm proud of him for that!
As much as he cares about finding a better way to keep at least 5stax in his bank account at all times, he struggles to maintain his self image and combat torment from his past lifestyle of indulgence, distrust, violence, and debauchery.

He is an exceptionally strong person who has discovered many of his own creative talents. Also in his grab bag of personality traits is a strong sense of self preservation and emotional self defense. When he goes on one of his self-affirming kicks, he's pretty difficult to reason with.

He can even be quite anal about getting his point across while affirming his intellect and machismo. Girls probable dig this, I find it annoying. So, he tried to/ threatned fighting me about two weeks ago. It was odd. I pretty much convinced him that fighting wouldn't solve anything and that he shouldn't get all huffy over someone who supports his own convictions as strongly as he does. It was like a wake up call..Mr "i'll beat your face" was very quiet... but my goal was not to "win" but to save my own life... Fighting puts lives at risk and believe me, that is a side I don't like showing. I consider this to be civil and life preserving, though I'm up for a good'n if there is something worth fighting for.

We've worked on a a few projects and now my most recent ones are on hold because of our supposed beef. I don't really know what the problem is... I convinced him not to fight me and now he's acting extra distant. Well, the show goes on with or without the rapping monkeys.

Ironically, it was haters trying to smite his creative venture that led his paranoid/ justifiably cautious senses to be heightened in tha ATL. For the last time, I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY!!

Having male friends is not easy, as we spend a lot of time changing ourselves, yet are constantly analyzing others' position in the cognitive, social, economic, and spiritual world extremely critically.

Brothas need each other to be individually strong and collectively minded. Somehow amidst all the jealousy you all (ladies)continually work together...deep down either loving or hating the sista you're breaking bread with, wondering whats the deal with the brothas...

Noon in D Winter

I have good news to report in the realm of academia! I'm well acclimated to my prerequisite courses :Physics I, PI Lab, and Statistics.

I'm doing well on my graded assignments and am a star participant in class! I'm enjoying meeting other folks getting it together in pursuit of advanced degrees in veterinary and public health... Atlanta Metropolitan College has good professors who are well prepared for their population of students. I find the campus to be inviting and the facilities functional.

With Benchmark PT, I've amassed over 40 hrs of volunteer time. I'm preparing for my next opportunity at The Shepherd Center, a top facility in the nation for the treating of brain and spinal cord injuries. I hope to be placed in the teen care division of rehab, as this may be a suited place for me to specialize... I hear you really don't decide until your practicals and works in PT school...we'll see!

Aunt Mildred isn't doing so well... She's been in the hospital for about a week... I saw her today, having lunch before my internship. We talked a little and I rubbed some lotion on her hands. It made her feel better. I take this moment to ask for God's blessing over her body and mind. I thank Him for the opportunities I've had to assist her in regular activities and going out for 5star meals! We had some good times didn't we Aunt Mildred! A few tears rolled down her cheeks. She is scared. I'm glad she was able to smile while I was there...

I'm concerned about all the tests and needle pricks...it's gotta be a time and a half for her just to get better... we are so fortunate. Yes, we receive His favor and many blessings... Rest well tonight Aunt Millie! :c)

D-fining My Purpose

The biography I composed for Jodine's Corner was approved! This is a landmark victory for my writing career. Not only have I continued to do business, I've captured a notable client who may open the doors to more significant opportunities!

I'd like to keep professional writing as a side career and today is a step closer to my ultimate goal of writing for other artists and to my overall contributions to the community of soul.

If you or someone you know needs professional writing holla at me! I take pride in representing you on paper or on screen!

I also scored a 54/65 on my first graded assignment in Statistics... one of the top grades in the class, also surpassing the instructors "in the 40s is a pretty good place to be, " in reference to the scores on our first quiz...

I also feel very confident about my score on the first Physics assignment... I'll know tomorrow or friday. (aiming for 100)

Take care y'all and know this is a MOVEMENT, the constant pursuit of ever changing goals, how's that for continuous data vs. discrete data! I've got specific targets to reach, yet am shooting for and walking in my purposeful life. Peace on that sugar! :c)
-dsm,jr.

snowDay

black ice in the making
a day made for cocoa and a good book
a look into the eyes of now
and thanks for heat and clothes...


what a great day to listen to my new jazz cd by Alice Coltrane!
An exotic look into our meditative history, Journey to Satchidananda
is a narrative collection of musical jazz vibes from "Om" to Osiris...

Reminding me of scoring for 50-60s television and film, the record is a robustly candid montage of instruments easily transporting the listener to burning incense and later to the royal court of Egypt (KMT).

I've got much investigating to do on Ms.Coltrane and her story of how she was led to adapt eastern values, the consultation from a Swami, and beyond.

If you come across music on Impulse Records it may be well worth your ear and investment.

in D flesh

A friend of mine told me putting personal information out on the internet is dangerous...

I'm a rebel...and I wish to declare my love for Beloved on this day! Over the past couple of days I've been receiving some very intense feelings of closeness to her. It's kinda wonderful! I seemed to reverse the polarity of our "time apart." In a recent e-mail, she apologised for "hurting or misleading my feelings."

I believe every word of it.

I am thankful for her decision to contact me at random and for being apologetic, even!
I am convinced I did the right things with her.

I am walking towards my career goals and am not looking back. I'm not done yet, but ... there may be a window for me to re-enter her life.

How wild is it that my first may be my one true... A blessing indeed.
I am so fortunate for even meeting her and patience is teaching me more each day about how important she is to me.

I actually had an idea while in her presence and it seems my sincerity is translating to her being.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm scared as all heck to make a mistake with her, but it's inevitable... I want to be such a great person to her. I really don't know what exactly I'm to do to keep her happy and trusting of me, but keeping my word is a start. I can stand firmly on my decision of celibacy and am reaping the benefits!

Deep down, I still want to know more about you...to talk with you and to learn from you...to share good times with you and to be there for you best I can.

It is 2008 and I am close to courting, if this delicate, old-fashioned, yet Christian process of mat-selection hasn't already begun.

I cannot say these things directly to you, so I will write them to relieve my heart of what I feel is needed to be said. I wonder if you do anything similar. I wonder if you've re-read the book I wrote you. I wonder If I'll write another one for you. If I do revise the first one, it will look like a work of ART, I promise!

And, if by chance you've discovered this blog, then I commend you and honorably, I love you unconditionally. but you should already know that by now... i think the song goes, "if you don't know me by now, you will never,never, never, know me... oohhh oooh oooooh..."

yeah, still a goodie!
:c)

D Write Stuff

So, I'm a writer as you altready know... I've made a sort of business of it by writing biographies for professionals. My latest client is the owner and operator of Jodine's Corner, a global multi-media enterprise specializing in management, marketing, promotions, and consulting for some of the nation's top r&b, soul, "neo-soul", and nu-jazz performing artists.

As a way to get my name and abilities into the community of such professionals, I utilize this grand opportunity. Wonderfully, my latest bio was approved by JD and will represent her and her company on www.jodinescorner.com As she is closing on a new house, I await her having time to post my words of art.

May this be the begining of a wonderful relationship and a prosperous future for me as a writer!

Heeee's Baaa-ack!

I don't exactly know what a "Red-eyed- Panther" is, but I claim it as reference to my current enrollment in Atlanta Metropolitan College! I'm happily taking prerequisites: physics and statistics prior to graduate school applications.

My mother told me to, "go straight through school, " WAY TO GO D. Anyway, I'm back on the ball and again am happy to be moving towards my passion of physical therapy. I'm going for my Doctorate, pray for me!

I'm fortunate to earn the respect from one of my mentors as she now hands me medical charts and tel me to, "go ahead..." I came to the opportunity applying for a technician position and am now getting credit for grad school, hands on experience, and she's agreed to write a letter on my behalf for the admissions process!

I also like doing my part at Grady Memorial Hospital. The hospital is in some sort of finance issue and was reportedly facing closure. Alas, the service of helping others in dire need continues through this process. I delight in volunteering a few hours per week; I receive credit for grad school in an inpatient setting.

I haven't decided on an area of specialty yet, but I would like to work with geriatric or limb deficient children. Time will tell. I am very excited to find my work passion at this junction of my life. If I work had enough I'll land my dream-job and still have time to make it to meet Beloved for dinner.

Your boi, is out!!!!

-delano :c)

D Well-ing

I should be overjoyed. And for all concerned parties I am quite satisfied with my current situation. Two great internships in preparation for Physical Therapy School. A family that supports me, wonderful friends, and a warm place to rest this winter.

I heard from Beloved between thanksgiving and Christmas... It was a wonderful surprise yet, I had VERY strong feelings on my way home and sure enough there was a message for me. She apologised for hurting or misleading my feelings...no response was needed and her closing was peaceful.

Then I got a random text message on new year's eve saying, "I LUV U!" from her friend. How interesting. I've had strong feelings that Beloved likes to communicate through other people as a way to protect her identity... there was a recent transmission where she said, "hey" and asked about the Jena 6 Benefit Concert in VA.

--the white people where I am interning are now discussing gun fire with respect to new years... though I do not engage it's typical confusion of our behavior that makes discussion topics in offices, over lunch in the South.--

Back to prettier things, it may be considered "middle school" you know, my friend has a crush on you type ish, but I think its just fine if she wants to be discreet. We are all allowed a blanket for our most unclothed emotions.

I trust that there will be a day of discussion between us again. I will fight to keep a positive perspective on the situation despite being somewhat neglected. It is good to fight for the future and even still, as her idealism becomes more apparent.

I am thankful for a most memorable 2007 and am extra excited to receive a text message of happy new years well wishes from Beloved. I think she's waiting on me to communicate first...guess she'll have to wait till the next holiday.

I'm being kinda short with her in my text messages... responding to her communications in metaphor/ indirectly

for example my Thanksgiving reply was " cool beans and stuffing."

and For New Years she got a "Rite Rite!" in response to her Happy New Year!

I did leave well wishes on her Myspace page, because no matter how bad she is, everybody cool deserves a myspace comment saying HNY! That comment was artistic and playful as I attempt to create appreciation for my creative communications. She get's it. And I'm glad to still be in the midst of all this confusingly beautiful love shit a year later.

08 is here, we are already great. I pray for my own triumphs in the arena of career and health this year.

Peace y'all!

-delano