the night is on my mind (son will still shine)

yo! BigD raps! i successfully recorded my first theatrical rap yesterday with Brotha Son-Christopher and Shawn Kimani! tucked away in a West End studio, we conjured up the beginnings of a jammin song about "not [just] dreaming about getting paid." it had been awhile since being in a room with fresh production, other creative souls, and a working mic. i was stage ready- soon after scribbling a verse and offering a take on the hook Son-Chris composed. This is such a huge stepping stone for me... my first dramatic rap verse with a poetic undertone - comes just as i prepare for my third trimester in Physical Therapy School.

Whew! Soon I'll be back in my apartment in St.Augustine - working towards my future...

PT by day, spirit dancing, poet by nite. If ur lucky you might hear me rap a verse- but don't think I'm gunning for the red carpet...i've got other plans for my orbit*

another recurrent theme this break was my lack of cuddling. Ah well, a few great hugs from friends and some kisses from my home girl mary and I'm good to go! Well, at least excited about what the new year will bring. Continuance is my word of inspiration! I feel very wide eyed being back in atlanta this break. so many faces to admire...yet, those far away seem to stimulate my fantasies of happiness. Sure ATL has PLENTY of fantastic slum beautifuls; my work in college exposed me to all types of 'ice cream.' distance does play a role in how much I'm able to consider a relationship. i wanna be where you are.

this year is about learning more of my craft in order to travel, get my butt out the house, see new cities and people...to reconnect with old friends and to write new songs...
stay tuned, thanks for 2010 - we're surely close to finding forever! :c)

'when you're done with that...clap"

today i conducted honor council nominations for the fist term class @ USA! It was another opportunity to play my position as I strive for more. I gave an introduction, encouraging them to endure through december... i reinforced what the honor council does and accepted their class nominations along side four other members of the Council. It was a regal opportunity. I thanked the class for participating and in return, they clapped for me!

I received a complement from a senior member of the HC for my performance... just days after i missed a meeting - @ my apt. studying anatomy and there in my student email inbox: HC MEETING TOMORROW 12noon. It was 12:40 last Monday.

And, now for the break: happy harvest! :c)

tao and disgust

there are some principles that i feel compelled to share with you all, my dearest readers.
it is first the concept of perpetual change, then a sense of motion as an attractive force between objects, and lastly a word on endurance.

the I CHING's first hexagram embodies the FATHER CREATIVE as not only six unbroken lines, but possessing attributes of , "unrestricted energy by any fixed conditions in space and is therefore conceived of as motion."

along my personal journeys endurance seems a most honorable and precious gift. to know of my partner, to honor her curves - those of spirit and being- that I might acknowledge the innately human characteristics of perpetual development; discovering the cyclical nature of our seasons and gently witnessing the fruit bearing of a tree from its most dense, universally portable state of seed.

a universe contained therein, i liken to a word of poetry.

a vibrating particle; it self comprised of a small universe of words as its definition or interpretative state as an idea in the mind.

it seems that the infinite HEAVEN dwells throughout as time is taken to peel the husk from life's fruit and spit out the seeds.

even in doing so, life finds its way no matter how unflattering the initial gesture.

to fancy on the tree's shade or its gnarly roots seem to only distract - for both purposes of delight and resentment - from the universal continuance of propagation.

My words were, "let us stay connected..." and if there ever was a wonder of love - i ask that you start there and paint from the annals of Blackness. a stone beneath my foot will cause blisters if not removed - lacerations even, scarring...

alas, to end the momentary disgust from a thick mass of thickened tissue, I say - the healing process itself can exist in a state of hyperactivity... an autoimmune disorder. personally, a scar, gash, and a sea of tears seems more temporal and tolerable than I no longer recognizing my cells as my own.

the preciousness you seek has no beginning. my word of advise is to discover perseverance - the unfaltering strength during changes that occur day by day.

just as joy can mask disgust, the converse is also alive and well being.

What i know of Tao, is to acknowledge the duality of things, to relinquish what you desire, and to allow the ways of being to transpire in their glory - both in construction and in the inspiring weathering of stone by water, ice, and wind.


life has chosen us for this time...our duty is to discover why

omg

tell em why u mad son!

no, don't.

don't say anything... it will make u seem like less than a man.

disclaimer: the ideas reflected in this blog do not represent the entire thought process of the management. Ideas expressed are temporal, transient, and are subject to change without prior notice. For an unabridged, full context, off the record interview please schedule @ dnicespeaks@gmail.com

still reading? thought: I didn't know I was so popular

point: i may not like what you say or do, but I do not dispose of an entire person b/c they disagree with me.
click: do NOT read into my rants.

furthermore, why are you really reading my rant? looking for my deepest thoughts: :c) aw.

why? i'm just a guy who expresses his feelings from time to time in writing. but, u won't get the whole story here (its not profitable yet.)

why should you care: because I AM INTERESTING! ::::this is actually surprising, but as a writer, expression that gets a response makes me giggle :::::

still reading?

i would too...


admission of guilt: I am so wrong for ever ranting in public!

admission of funk: everyone is secretly watching.

admission of ego: voyeurs make me feel neat.

are you listening closely?


this is my place to be angry, confused, strange, odd, reflective, and wrong even. I'm okay with that...
are u?

if not stop reading: some language may not be suitable for younger audiences.



p.s. do u know what i gonna write in the future? :c)

inkwells, roses, and funkmusic

don't get me wrong... this is what i have.

a few spots of ink

my vent and filter...

a writer's victory is being read.
controversy or not.

i write about how i feel.


i can't always say what i want... perhaps i should pick up an instrument.

words, feelings can lose context and confuse readers... drat.

but, if I'm allowed a little spot of ink, when it stinks...


i see roses.

therapeutic intervention

getting dumped sucks. but, when it feels like I am being punished for making a doctoral program my priority, it sucks in a special way that only leads me to feel assuredly self confident. if it wasn't me the last time, it certainly isn't me this time. i've worked for ten years to get to this point and any woman who is into me and has a patient view of the future should understand why i can't be everything to her at this moment. a little glimpse into the future, a little faith, and a who lot of love will surely guide her to respect my priorities. Does this mean I should cut myself off from any form of attention because I'm land locked in grad school? I hope not. studying being my occupation and side project, i hope for just a little female energy to remind me I'm making someone proud. School breaks should be my opportunity to spend what little free time i do have with someone special.

I almost made an unannounced trip to DC... that situation turned out to be more complicated that I could imagine. The genius, again, had issues that kept her from being emotionally stable - or at least able to make rational, relationship preserving decisions. from my current vantage, i feel like the victim of sista's tryna assert their sovereignty . some otha fella jacked it up and now, i'm subject to the winds of supposed "caution." Maybe she just wan't the ONE for me...at least not now.

Given the way things have developed, I'll return to Atlanta a bit wiser, a lot smarter, and hopefully not as lonely as I've felt in winters past. Strange how my boys who aren't doing as much in terms of their future's stay laced with arm candy...

I'm not hatin. I'm just sayin. My homeboy's are cool and I usually get some small percent jealous when I work hard to plan a decent life and along the way I get ditched by presumably intelligent sistas. Maybe I'm boring?

Today, I will listen to cee-lo's new album lady killer for way the 3rd time all the way through. therapy for a physical therapy student.

Master of Ceremonies

First duty as a member of the honor council: master of ceremonies for the signing ceremony. this event familiarizes first term students with our policy to promote academic integrity. after twenty minutes of talks about the consequences of violating the student handbook, the council held its annual dress code fashion show to lighten the mood. i recall our own signing ceremony and remembered laughing seeing advanced students having fun while showing off inappropriate attire for lecture, lab, and professional events. this year, i shared the responsibility with a female co-host to preside over this year's "Flashing Lights Fashion Show." Both incorrect and correct styles of dress were shown and I switched up the music with each, using Kanye's "flashing lights" when appropriate styles were worn and right said fred's "i'm too sexy" (a University favorite) when inappropriate attire was displayed. I closed off the evening wishing students well encouraging then to, "be appropriate, be, smart, and flash your lights!" It was a hit and I received complements from both first term students and members of the council.

"mc means master of ceremonies, some people who mc don't know what this term means."_ATCQ

Honorable Mention

I was elected to the Honor Council at the University of St.Augustine, representing the Purple class of DPT students!

I've wanted this since our first week of graduate school and am excited to share this great news!

(doing a lil dance)

:c)

Trimester Won

1st term is ova!
status update: no official word on making the Honor Council as of yet... bit, its been a great semester! I feel like once I really got the hang of things it was just about over.

My biggest accomplishment: helping to teach a fellow student during finals week, just in time for her to pass the class! So proud of my peers for working hard and taking that giant leap for human kindness!

PT is awesome.. now on with the vacation! ATL are u ready?

-delano :c)

Standing Out

Today I was nominated by a classmate for the Honor Council at The University of St.Augustine! "Employed" to uphold the standards of the University, the Council serves to internally protect the reputation of the physical therapy profession at the graduate level. A distinguished privilege; it will come down to a vote from my class as a whole and I'm excited to be the first student nominated! As an active participant in all of our classes, I build my reputation as a vocal and participating student in the overall learning process. Its my unlikely B.S. degree in Health Physical Education and Recreation that I attribute to my ability to instruct others and communicate effectively.

This semester has been a trying one. Medical Physiology and Skills challenge my ability to learn very detailed information and retain it for practical use in the courses to come.

Early on I yearned for a study group to best attack the massive volume of information presented to us in an accelerated fashion. It wasn't an easy task even for a highly sociable person like myself. The Purple Class demographics reflect the profession as a whole - white females making up the majority of practicing therapists. Their male counterparts seemed my biggest challenge to reach in terms of building my social network. There were times my ability to perform well in class seemed to annoy them, especially early in the semester. I made a curriculum adjustment, dropping anatomy just before midterms. This allowed me to focus on the material at hand and retain more information and perform better on tests. This strategy is often praised by faculty who call it a more normal approach to PT School and prepare students better for clinical work. So, far, the second half of the semester has reflected that to a "T." My grades improved in all areas and I'm looking very good going into finals...


A second bright moment in my day arose just after our last Clinical Massage laboratory.
After seeing me train my body in the gym yesterday, our instructor found out from other students that I'm a skilled dancer. After class he approached me offering insight to a unique clinical internship that might be available during the 6th term. Two alumni of the University now work for Cirque du Soleil. My personal interest in dance and ability to perform complex movement pattern piqued his interest and thus he shared with me a very interesting chance at having a very special clinical internship down the road.

Folks, my insides are doing back flips! What a wonderful intersection along my path to have a faculty member offer such a parallel opportunity with my vision for a non traditional approach to treating patients!

I can say with preparedness, that time is on my side. I thanked God immediately for making me exactly who I am and for showing me the door to what may be a foot into my future! I'm excited and have to meet a classmate at 7pm. One hour to eat and chill... then its back to being a student...a stand out student at that!

the great long time coming

good things take time
and i've run out of impatience

Big Boi's solo effort dropped and in
grand fashion I've found a relic
of prosperity in OutKast
yet again...

Always there with something immeasurable
musical projects often required multiple listens
to fully digest.

So, uncanny being right on time
was the Stray Bullets Mixtape from Dungeon Family
First generator Cee-Lo Green.

With the effervescent Janelle Monae splattering magazines from Vogue to TRACE
and Threestax (aka Sunny Valentine) all over Ciara's "Ride" remix
I've had a good friday.

the Lo, mixtape emerged from the blogosphere a few weeks ago
and the Nike commercial featuring Dre was something I found on youtube
a short wile ago also...he's mashed up with the Beatles doing just what he
fancies to bring us "All Together Now."

the other nature of 'Kast's galactic funky ride thru the A-Town
surprised me first on facebook showing up as a friends profile picture rocking a Woodward Academy hoodie.

For those who don't know its the perfect fit for a member of the group forging southern duality thru the musical cosmos.
Woodward is an ex military non parochial private school in College Park, GA just a few miles from Tri Cities High School where the duo met. My personal alma mater, WA is a world away from Freaknik and yesterday's fried folklore of Atlanta's urban cuisine.



Somehow, the hoodie I now make infamous, surfaced in the video for "Shine Blockas" off the latest full length DF release: Sir Lucius Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty.

the fellas who captivated my attention in 96 with ATLiens, notwithstanding their seminal 1994 introduction, are still relevant and working in the most fickle of industries - my blog and playlist!

the birth of daze and tomorrows unfolding window

I started this blog to chronicle not only my life, but my personal feelings. Early posts indicate my affinity for the pursuance of a dream. No one ever really dies. She was/ is smart. The kinda smart that is able to change the world around her... And in the face I found so tender, I began my quest for Zelda. I got the idea that she, like many bloomers, wasn't always celebrated for her looks - ravishing dark skin and natural hair. Her look has grown on the world. And in step with the cosmopolitan, she was seen in gorgeous locks and later in a short curly do. Yes, her flavors always spoke to me. And I smile a little as I reminisce.

Life got tough and all I know is that she adapted. That same spirit of internal competition and intelligence garnered her much success at an early age and I have no proof - or doubt - that she is still at the leading edge of the curve. She was quiet (at times) and a visionary, I admired her stylistic details. That same drive may have contributed to the downfall of our encounter.

My readers, that encounter forever changed me and though I have moved on with my life, I allow my honest self to never forget the world series that wasn't.


Perhaps liking someone to her core scared her. My sister expressed similar sentiments over a guy she "could no longer pursue." And at the core of it was his ability to alter her consciousness. To get to her. And this frightened her to def. She described him as terrible...

Well, some five years later - I feel compelled to read from an archived chapter. For a day. I really don't know, but hear glimpses of the story in Janelle Monae's Archandroid. And there is danger in my eyes, for I have to go myself and find the other side of being 'Locked Inside." The greatest gift I've received is hearing my story unfold in music. I will continue to listen and accept the captivation before me as God's confirmation of LOVE.

So much going on with school and a new special genius has found her way to my rescue. And I pray for her. She is more deserving of happiness than many I've known. I do not pity her - I'm amazed! She is worthy of exploration - which I could see taking a lifetime...

Just in time to see a bulbous purple cloud in the distance from my balcony float amongst the whispy (possible cirrus) tide in the sky... and for a moment to look into my past and walk into my future.

Sitting Tall (Studying Hard)

i had an encounter with my future today!

i was in office max making copies of the brachial plexus and was questioned about the illustration by a customer

I told him I was in PT school.

the older East Indian looking man inquired about my studies seeking advise about some discomfort he was having in the back of his legs/thigh region.

even though my education is in its early phase I was called upon by the community to assist in helping out. i offered my free consultation which included asking about the chair he usually sits in at home before feeling discomfort... I questioned him about the seat's depth, specifically b/c he has having soreness in the back of his thigh. lo and behold, he confirmed that when sitting near the back of the chair, he felt discomfort, but when he sat at the end of the chair he felt fine. he also said he sleeps in the chair (at the back of the chair) and feels discomfort when he wakes up.

interestingly, I learned about such discomfort when fitting patients for wheel chairs...
how interesting that I was tested in a real life situation and was able to use my limited knowledge to potentially confirm some symptoms and or causation!

I've got a while...and a long green mile to go, but I'm on my way!

2points for learning!

setting the pace

lucid dreams every night... i guess its the new bed
studying everyday (i pray it stays in my head!)

I'm being fed by new lessons
the school is great
no time to wait, 1st class at eight!

I'll holla!

students

the first day of grad school proved both interesting and challenging.

as to prepare us for the road that lives ahead, we were introduced to medical physiology, skills, and massage as mostly an introductory greeting to the modus operandi of the university and the specific culture of each course.

physiology has some very specific content and we begin our lecture on the electrical excitation of the cardiovascular system.

skills is a course that teaches about some of the functional duties of the clinician

massage is self explanatory.


I am meeting many of my 65 peers slowly yet, with smiles.

we are a unique bunch and i hope to form lasting bonds, as we undoubtedly need the support and assistance of each other. there are benefits to us all doing well, besides the obvious - i hope and seek to hold up my end of the bargain.

stay tuned space cadets... our flight is just beginning...

-d

Houses

once upon a melody...
stillness
feather breaths protrude
children
with big city sneakers
disguised as loafers
when the dance is over

between the blade and the dew

find morning a comical chaser
to a deftly ordered evening

what will you do when
the heaviness
of houses
captures you...

"Don't Move"

Grey's Anatomy

Transitions... the grey area between two definging phases of life. And of course, I'm faced with potentially life altering decisions to make in the midst of instability.

I don't feel pulled in different directions as much as I feel the heaviness of my security. Each decision I make can make or break relationships which strangely seem to be the most dynamic and "unimportant" aspects of my young life. To Be, or Not to Be...

And why again should I have an answer for that question? A few moons ago I was open to what/whomever the Universe provided. I was feeling lonely, feelin my "swag", and feelin like I deserved more. And more arrived in my life in the form of sistas. I guess confidence is detectable. For so long, I played the quiet role. Much to the disbelief of quality sistas...one asked me, "why [I] wasn't [swimming] with the earthy chicks," in the abundant land of Atlanta. My best answer came from our literal interaction...hearts are fragile/male energy is "confirming," leading, and the decision maker. So, I was smartly avoiding female contact in both body and soul. The little taste I'd received of my own heart's longing made me no stranger to the swell of emotions that come from meeting a "potential," but no more prepared to be the "busy one" with little time for a commitment.

I surprised myself.

From the Grey Anatomy of the man I'm becoming, I find both flaw, virtue, and flavas. I seldom address the needs of my loins and safely so. When I decide its time for me to be affectionate it is a confusing matter. Hearts are undoubetdly in the mix, so a departure from my norms to satisfy my soul involves duality.

In short, I can be the "bad guy." But, there is so much good in me, in my intentions, in my focus, that I'll risk - not every person on this earth singing praises to God for me. I have to accept and am accepting some people are just not for me and that's okay. Some interactions are flawed no matter the intention. Physical intimacy outside of a committed relationship is totally grey.

I've learned from enough conversations from sistas that this grey area can easily lead to unbalanced emotional outpourings. I'll try to be my best...If I fall short.
Blame me. Forgive me. Hear me.

But, a brotha on his way will be highly sought after... I'm sure its just begun.

So, to my future self, be prepared... what you do today with ultimately change tomorrow.

(picking up my nut$z)

And I'm interested in the future

Saltwater Taffy

I was stretchin out... spreading my wild side just before hunkering down for school. I thought it would be fun, ya know? Just have a lil look around.Maybe make a new friend in the process. Aquaintence was our only refuge. She with a mouth full of pizzaz, me drippin artistic/earth tone business casual...the stuff dreams are made of - but I didn't really know it. I was just hangin out to dry... expecting Grad school to be the most UNEVENTFUL period of my social life. Then this familiar sound cought my ear. That ol skool Baduizm - the exact flavor I craved and scoured the professional scene for - naturals, african prints, or ankh earrings... some remnant of The Motherland still bustin' out the seams of some young professional.

Afro-Classy / Sophistican ? (not sure if they have a term for it yet, but I call it sexy)

I was just about cool with everything, packing my unrequited emotions up and moving to Florida with a chip on my shoulder and a future in the balance with every exam... my dreams resting until I assumed my final professional title of Doc of Physical Therapy - then (and only then) might I have a chance to date and be taken seriously ... then and only then might I reunite with the ghost of Christmas past and actually release the scrooge plaguing my hetero-sexuallity.

I was pretty much optimistically opting out of an emotional anything before this ol lady (32) walked into my life.

Rollercoasters and taffy seem to mix, usually the taffy is best after the ride - in this case there was taffy both before and after the wild ride. We spoke on the phone and flirted. We composed letters and mailed them. Then we scheduled a date. The date lasted all weekend and before you start salivating for x-rated details, I'll tell you it wasn't my best work at all. I think it was a combination of EVERYTHING - the timing, my past decision to move with a clear conscience and heart, the stubborn unrequited pacemaker, and the sheer speed of sexual tension oozing even Stevie Wonder got-down... It got me, I broke character and thought: She's cool, familiar, she's diggin me, why not let her help with that hump in-ya back? Tru she was gettin a lil attached VERY EARLY (2months of chatting/ letters) and her "HEART WAS IN IT," but she was a big girl right? Older able to handle a lil weekend excursion and keep it movin the way it was.

I had a window seat on my flight and returned home happy.

Then, the roller coaster cought up with the taffy. I think she got sick of all the sugar. Sugar cane sweet tooth but, mine wasn't for sale. I offer samples of taffy... a lil somethin for after life's wild rides. Hopefully, what I offer now is satisfying.


I really had no idea I was more than a sweet treat to you. I still don't know what to do... I understand your frustration...I hope you understand mine. You've earned a place in my blog and that, miss lady is no-small feat.

My heart lives in prose.

Taffy! Taffy! Makes you happy, It's not a meal, but sure makes you happy!

Young Fly the Future

When I started this blog, my heart was heavy to express. There was a story inside of me I felt the need to archive. Because of the nature of this story, its vast significance, the depth my own feelings, and the sweeping changes occurring rapidly in my life I had to let out at least a little of what was inside of me.

GNM- once described it as a "male pregnancy," an inner child gestating... this allusion is close to describing what happens when I fall in love. I feel an overwhelming desire to protect the infantile feelings living, even breathing inside of me. At all costs, I seek affirmation about my feelings - and worlds respond. Music is its main vehicle. I admit to being led by an unseen force. Saying to myself, "You are just hoping," is the ledge of my emotions... I have no idea and no solid evidence that I am not chasing a dream. Yet, the point of my entire blog is to expose some of the promise living inside of me-of her.

Women in my present don't really hear about you...I don't even mention your name that often. For some reason I think you hear when your name is mentioned... its a risk my pride won't let me take - you knowing how much I care by speaking your name... it does seem a little silly at this point to still feel the need to protect - but I do.

Tea- Lotus Blossom, a present vision of mine, says she read this blog in its entirety... I wonder if she understands that I started this blog to protect my inner child, to archive my first cosmic journey, my innervisions of love...

-oddly enuff she demands a commitment from me; something I can't give for at least three reasons. 1. I'm going to PT School and I can't take her demanding nature to such a personal investment stage of my life. 2. I'm still protecting my inner child, and 3. The Future is still before me.

Love is about the future. The now is so fleeting, that physical contact may even be more of an illusion than the vaporous feelings...


To Dr.Hopkins, I salute you! You have me thinking I can live again and maybe one day be ready for another child, my first inner child. Even you compete with my past as an example of Divine Focus in the Black Female... and I love that! I do not know what your role will be in my life...and I smile at the prospects of a better tomorrow.

For now, I hope this explains my current situation more clearly. There is tremendous sacrifice attached. Believe it or not it keeps me out the streets, chasing random women, and constantly looking inside and outside for any signal confirming my place on the path towards...

young fly the future
*YFF also references an ATLANTA rapper ... good kid, lots of talent...needs diverse forms of guidance.

The Bowl

Not even crumbs, I noticed. Like a wayward gale swept the last of my favorite granola just as my eyes caught sparkling bits of honey over the tasty conglomerate. "It must have been really good granola," a friend quipped. My favorite foods are just that.

In-Flight Granola

The view from my window seat was fantastic.
A light unto my weekend's pathway outta town.

"Just to look around," I jet setted to our Nation's Capital for a weekend away from
the city of Atlantis. Distance and departure make my heart grow fonder. Though I set out to make nu-dreams reality, I end up missing what's left behind. So, with that in mind, I'll come back to the middle...with the spirit of india.arie and erykah badu warming my soul in the final days of February.

The window seat was a supreme gift. Reflecting the latest single from Erykah, I enjoyed the short flight, filled with excitement, yet relaxed as thick clouds sauntered below us. I was to spend the weekend visiting with friends and making up for "lost timeless" with Crunchy Granola.

DC. I arrived about an hour later than expected, but the flight was cool and the snacks of pretzels, Biscoff, and cranberry juice fed my hunder for Crunchy Granola.

Crunchy Granola is one of my favorite foods, but don't tell, Soul Food, Jamaican, or Thai!

CG - a memory from Hampton, a recent reintroduction in Atlanta, and au-natural letters in between. Though spur-of-the moment, this trip was an unexpected departure from my conservative ways. I packed light, and feasted on good food, good tunes, and great times all weekend!

I learned not to judge Granola by texture. See, its all about taste and the lasting satisfaction that comes from a yummy snack. I wonder how snacks feel about us eating them from time to time? Are snacks envious of full course meals? Are they okay with being the pick-me-up when time is short? I can't seem to ask granola about that... Conversations feel one-sided. Still, I reach for some crunchy granola when its close and I'm hungry.

Granola and I go back. I remember being a boyscout trailmixing north Georgia. She was with me in Europe. What I love most is her desire to hear my stories! Being the sharing-is-caring type, I love telling stories of my life.

With that, I offer my blog readers some of what I'll tell Crunchy Granola
over our next meeting:

Please don't search for your smile's cessation
let it linger longer lasting
nu dreams
take shape before me unfolding
kaleidoscope pixels of reality
and it tastes like music
spicy beans and rice
straight from de island
slice some mango for me

feel alright
now and then curry time with jamaica tea
can u hear flavors of she
echoing off clustered clouds
with sun in his reign over drops of shade?

i sip some water
eagerly, patiently
drinking moments
spun dizzy gillespie
spat laughter all over me
jazz riffs in da Matrix.

Crunch Crunch! Be-Bop Pop Rocks
Hip Hop Don't Stop Crushin School Girls
loving being the pressure between my teeth

Maybe she will still miss me, when I'm eating bites of reality

my sweet treat, so good for me
mommy first served me
healthy living
I feast on Crunchy Granola through the week

(I need someone to clap for me, I need someone to miss me)

Come Back...

Rich Boi

so, when was the last time you assessed your personal value? I believe its important to know what you bring to the proverbial table when entering new relationships, considering dating, or just need a pick-me-up. So, with that in mind, here is the short list of my soul's assets.

i know what makes me valuable: being in the world but not of the world. learning to do yard work over the years. A conscience that is clear. having the best interests of others in mind. putting myself second. not leading others towards their demise. knowing how to be a good friend. knowing what unconditional love really is. finding peace and joy in simple things. basking in the presence of God around and through me. Knowing what is appropriate. Vocabulary. Kindness. Vision. getting to work early almost every day. creating unique bonds with others. helping to save the lives of my friends. seeking spiritual ONEness. Being honest. having a heart that is ready to love. Being sexually conservative. Being the kind of guy who can capture a woman with conversation. Having an impeccable sense of style. breakdancing. cutting a rug w/ jay electronica @ the mos def show. Not being satisfied with fast money, women, or cars. Being favored by God. Knowing how to cook a decent meal. being happy to be a Black man in america. being in touch with my emotions. being kind. being sensitive to the needs of others. sensible humility. a supportive non-dysfunctional family. For being well on my way towards manhood...

Gucci Glasses Half Full

some of the best rap I've heard is like straight conversation. in this mixtape classik, pharrell and gucci mane shine, talk about the woman who can get it all... snappin'!

gucci doesn't really spit verses, but I like abstract song formats. pharrell is subtle, at his best, and coasting with a sincerely masculine vibrato. listen close. (anything to keep you blushing)

wowsers... Timbo and Drake

"Celebration!"_MosDef

Shots of Hate

okay, I don't drink hateraid ... I sip from time to time. You know, to get a little buzz. Anyway, today's topic is: things I hate.

1. Young "Hipsters" - nearly everything that is hip today is a rehash of what's been artistic since the 80s and 90s. The point of being hip is to be "hip" to new styles... even retro styles can be made unique witha touch of, that's right, CREATIVITY! Freak the style by thinking about what's hot but not copying what's seen in a video or on the racks. Ex: Screen print tees are hot... rock a custom Tee from your imagination or from a funky retailer with your name on the back with a number - create a "jersey tee" with the front side still in style! *If u want to be extra fresh wear classic garments ex: a vintage clip-on tie from a thrift store will crush a new button down shirt! Oh yeah, and your music is poo. (do we sound like our parents yet?)

2. Bodies in the Street: why is it that a dead Iraqi, Afghan, or Haitian will be shown on American Media but dead Americans won't? Pick your global disaster where there is loss of life by brown skinned / non white people and during the first "shock and awe" hours of media coverage, and there is bound to be someone's brother, sister, mother, uncle, or second cousin twice-removed's body shown with no respect. I'll take it a step further... remember Hurricane Katrina? I remember seeing bodies in the street, on the sidewalk, and on bridges. Now, I don't know the last time I EVER saw a dead white person on TV... non-fiction rebuttles need only apply! As if brown skinned people deserve less respect - even in death!??- SMH.

3. FOX "News"

4. Pat Robertson - God don't like ugly and you have have no alabi

5. Sammy Sosa - not a good look...playa.

6. Mark McGwire - After admitting to using steroids during his "record-breaking" 1998 baseball season, St.Louis Cardinals fans welcomed him as their new batting coach. Even more frustrating was comissioner Bud Selig's statment regarding the incident, "I am pleased that Mark McGwire has confronted his use of performance-enhancing substances as a player. Being truthful is always the correct course of action, which is why I had commissioned Senator George Mitchell to conduct his investigation. This statement of contrition, I believe, will make Mark's re-entry into the game much smoother and easier," Selig said. I can't imagine a worse time to show compassion. Had, the player been lets say, Sammy Sosa... do you think Selig would have been so supportive? Shame on you Mark!

7.Wallflowers: If you paid to get in, why aren't you dancing?

8."Obamanations": Is it just me or is our 44th getting the 3rd degree from every angle? I mean imagine if the 43rd was actually criticized at the same level as Obama. Haters never rest till the best get down.

9.Twitter

10.Dirty Socks - not only are they a ses pool for athletes foot, the're just nasty.

sapphire tea

gorgeous mourning
arctic air blanketing the sky invisible
coating of cool
miles of blue
distant starglow of you
dusting lashes, branches anew.

vision of winter
glaze surfaced pools
looking glasses, patches blacktop icecapades
when it was goodie for an early minute
detroit was saved
ohm infinitum